Our Fathers

Our fathers toil with hands and heart

to make our lives complete.

They quietly brave the winter cold,

and endure the summer heat.

Our fathers' lives are busy,

but there's always time for us.

They boldly face the ups and downs

and seldom ever fuss.

Our fathers are the greatest dads;

we know you know this too.

But thank you for the chance to share

our love for them with you.

~ David A. Olds ~

Happy Fathers day to all you special guys!!!

High Five Friday

This week has been one of those "oh my gosh will Friday ever get here" kind of weeks, but at last Friday arrived and I managed to find a few things to high five.

1.   I tried a new recipe for Rhubarb bread, it was a HIT!!  I do need to find more recipes however as I have left overs from last year and my plant is going crazy this year!  If you have any good one's send them my way.

2.  After suffering  a day and a half from a migraine it decided to take a step back and was completely gone after 3 days.  OUCH - that was a doozy!!!  Conversely the headache wasn't the high five.

3.  I went on a picnic lunch with a GREAT friend.  This was our view for about 30mn.  What a great way to break up a work day!

4.  Blaine and I rode the motorcycle to "Bike Night in Moorhead" and saw a lot of really nice bikes.  Were really wanting to upgrade to a more comfortable bike, it sure is hard to wait until next year!  This picture doesn't do justice to what we saw but it was sunset on my phone camera, what can I say...

5. Tonight we did one-on-one night with the kids.  Blaine and Justin decided to do some fishing and Kayla and I did some swim suit shopping.  The boys did the catch and release since the fish weren't that big but said it was still a good time.  Kayla tried on no less than 15 suits and finally decided on one.  I cannot believe how hard it is to find a suit for a tweener!

Hope your weekend is a great one!

The Bully

Recently I had a quiet opportunity to speak with my son alone, I asked the general question of “how things are going” these days.  He just finished the 6^th grade and is having his first summer without immediate supervision.  I was given the normal “good” phrase as his answer.  I didn’t want this to be the end of the conversation so I asked him who he has been playing x-box on line with and what they have been playing (I thought this would be a topic of his own interest).  He named a few friends and the game that is most “in” right now; I pressed more about the friends names and one in particular that I assumed would have also been included in that list, he quickly told me he is on-line but that he doesn’t talk to him.

For anyone that knows my son they know him as a friendly, outgoing, self-assured young man; we have been fortunate enough to hear from a few different teachers through-out elementary school that he is well liked, does not fall into clicks and is never alone. This was always a heartfelt moment for me, who doesn’t want their kids to feel liked, loved and wanted by their peers?  What I love about him the most is that he is true to him-self, he stands up for what he believes in and makes no apologies for being “him” and if he is your friend…you know it by his attentiveness, protectiveness and honesty.

With that understanding about him, you can understand my being curious as to why he would not be talking to this one child in particular.  I had my assumptions that it was just a matter of “out growing” a friend but was he told me some stories of what was happening in school and that he just didn’t want to be a part of it.  In latent terms, this child was being a bully –not to Justin but but "he's saying really mean things to kids who are smaller than him” is how it was briefed to me.  I was dumbfounded that this kid I have known for so long would be acting this way.

I know this can be a controversial topic, but it is out there and it is happening.  I asked him if he had ever said anything to him and he said "yes", he said he told him right in front of the one being bullied that it was not cool or to knock it off, he said he had even had the bullied kid come hang with him and the other boys but it would always start over the next or the day after.  Once more I felt my chest fill with pride but at the same time my brain filling with anger at this boy for picking on other kids.  After all the talks of bullying in the schools, the D.A.R.E program, television programs depicting bullies as un-liked …really just the everything out there how can bullying still be an issue? 

I remembered a blog that was written a few years back, you can read it by clicking here: Memoirs of a Bullied Kid. He wrote of his own bullying experiences and how it seemed to get worse over the years; how teachers, bus drivers and even other kids did nothing to stop it, they did nothing to stop his own self-hatred either, he wrote of how he felt alone all the time.  He talked about his feelings of wanting these bully’s hurt, or his own self misery to stop…no matter how…but just for it to stop.

Towards the end of his article, he noted that these bullies should not be hated, but instead reached out to, for someone to put their arm around them and make sure they know that they are valued; he noted that most often times if someone turns to bullying it is because something is going on their life that makes them want to push this negative energy to someone else; bullying makes them feel in control.

He stated that for those being bullied that it is very helpful to talk to them, get them to talk about what is happening; I found it very interesting that he said grandparents can be very helpful during these times by just asking the question “how are kids treating you at school” and kids seem to open up.

I hope all the parents reading this will talk to their kids even if they are certain their kid is not a bully or being bullied. Help them to know that they CAN stop the bully and the negative effects by just standing up for the bullied; history shows that a voice against the bully can stop it more often than not.  Sometime something as little as being a friend, asking them to sit at their lunch table, saying ‘Hi’ in the halls or any sort of a compliment can make a big impact for those kids being bullied.

So, as I re-read his blog again I made the decision to not be angered by this kids actions but to try and understand that something is going on either at home or within himself to make him act this way and  hope he gets the needed attention he seems to greatly need.  I’m also going to give my kid a big hug and tell him how proud I am of him for remembering our talks on bully’s, how to not be one and how to help someone else who is.  I stand behind his decision to not remain “friendly” with this kid, and his decision to not go out of his way to make the “bully” a target himself for others to step on.

Please share your experiences with bullying.  Let’s make this an open topic where we can share what worked and didn’t work.

Simple summer days

We made the decision early in the week to stay home from the lake this weekend and get some much needed "projects" done around the house.  There are some that have been waiting longer than I would like to admit, but in our defense some are completely destructive and a little overbearing...like wall tearing, carpet ripping, nail pulling, step sanding overbearing.

So with our list in mind we woke early later than normal Saturday morning, dug out our list of things to do and went shopping for T-shirts and sun dresses, a must for all home project...right??  Then headed back home to make lunch and clean out the pool for the kids to swim in while we worked on our list of projects.

This is what happened the rest of the afternoon.

Lunch WAS made...the pool WAS cleaned...but then a pool volley ball game was started and the lounge chair Blaine bought me was held down for literally...WAY.To.Long while I read a book and cheered them on.  Needless to say...the wall is still up, the carpet is still laid and not a single step was sanded.

Then I was treated to a "Date Night" out on the Motorcycle and then to dinner...just the two of us.  What a TREAT!!

Sunday crept up on us way too soon and we just couldn't just let another day go by without making some progress on our list; so we dug in and cleaned out the shed..YIKES! I cannot believe that little shed accumulated so much junk over the years.  Thank goodness we have access to a large dumpster or we would be making a special trip to the junk yard on top of the donation trip with the outgrown bikes and toys. 

Our list only had the one project checked off, but really, who could work on such a beautiful Saturday. 

I have to admit, I like the different seasons we have around here but I sure love hot

summer days!

Hope your weekend was as uneventful, mind calming, smile line creating, and skin aging browning as ours was.

High Five Friday

1.  We spent last weekend at Buffalo River State Park testing our new camper, have to admit that this is something that I have missed!  The water wasn't very warm so not much swimming went on but we did do a little hiking and fishing, had a visitor several times (the bird)...and of course the technology was never far from some little fingers!

2. We sold Grandpa Mikes old camper in 24-hours.  Woo-hooo!

3.  I finally got some flowers full grown from my backyard to cut, capture and set on the table.

4.  Dad passed his stress test with flying colors!

5.  The kids made it through their first week alone on their own!  And I was able to catch a quiet morning with Justin and Rookie.  Nothing like a dog and his boy!

How was your week?

High Five Friday

It’s no secret that I read a lot of blogs and am a ghost follower to most, and last week while looking around I came across an entry that I thought was interesting and decided to copy for a while to see if I liked it.  To give the proper credit, you can view the blog at From My Grey Desk – so here I am starting a new weekly entry called “High-Five Friday”.  Basically this is a summary of what I feel are my top five highlights of the past week, a way to reflect and document the good things in each week.

1. This Mother’s day was a great day. I received a lunch out, a book to read (might add I finished it by Wednesday – Yikes) and a bottle of my absolute favorite perfume that can no longer be purchased in stores; yep the hubby had his thinking cap on for this day!

2. Getting many updates throughout the morning on the 5^th grade All City Track for Miss K-K. She competed in four events this day. The High jump, the mile run, Co-ed relay and the girls relay. She did very well in the high jump; rumors on the street were that there was a very large cheering section for her chanting her name as she and a girl from another school were competing for first place. In reality Miss K-K had already won as the other girl had tipped the bar once already and Miss K-K had not; she finished first with 4’9”and was then given a second place ribbon – oops! I saw on her Facebook a friend named Joey posted “Me and Jaxson were about to chant “This is rigged!” – LOL! In the girls relay the team took first with her taking the end spot in the relay to. Her mile run was not her norm, unfortunately she skipped lunch thinking it would help her but in the end it bit her in the butt as she ended up light headed half way through and finished in the middle of the pack. Because she ran this mile she was given the option to skip the mile run at school…as competitive as she is…she is running the mile run to get her time back in line. Over-all a GREAT day even though I had to miss it, the text messages kept me on the edge of my seat!

3. D.A.R.E. Graduation for the 5^th graders was also this week and I was given the pleasure of attending this event. This is a program that is widely recognized for teaching the kids about Drug Abuse Resistance Education. The kids were awarded T-shirts and certificates as well as visits from some very important people in the community. Judge Lori Borgen, Officer Kellen, Police Chief David Ebinger and several city council members. Getting to see the kids go through this ceremony after weeks and weeks of classes, music and art all surrounded with avoiding drugs, talk of what a bully is, the health effects of drugs and alcohol and how to make good choices even with their friends. So happy that our community is involved with our kids!

4. I was also able to attend the 6^th grade History Fare for Justin with Blaine. The kids could work alone or with a partner and Justin chose to do his research alone and study the Iwa Jima Flag Raisers; he did a fantastic job! What a fun way to spend the morning! There were lots of smiles and the room was filled with boards displaying the knowledge that was learned. We stopped and spoke with a few of J.G.’s friends and found that all of them had researched something different and were eager to share what they had learned. It was also a great morning visiting with other parents some of which we hadn’t seen in a while.

5. The best high-five of my week though was the ending of my unsettling feeling of losing someone so special to me that I had never imagined my life without them. The anxiety that set in me was so unnerving that I just wasn’t myself for weeks no matter how hard I tried. I found myself doing things I wouldn’t normally do, like driving in wrong directions, going to a completely different location then intended, forgetting schedules, doing things twice or not at all, entering rooms and not remembering why, sleeping restlessly for brief periods of time and then startled awake to lay “thinking” again, my stomach was rolling, my head pounding and there was a great deal of strain in my neck forcing me to constantly twist and turn trying to release the tension. Talk about wishing for the flu instead so at least you’d know it would get better in a day or two! But fortunately I took a courageous step, for me anyway, and started asking questions knowing the answers might be the end of or the start of more anxiety. Since this is on my High Five list, I don’t think I need to go any further…J

So, here it is, my first High Five Friday! 

I hope this sparks you to also reflect and document,

if you do make sure you link into mine so we can share

Or

you can also add your High Five’s to the comments of this post.

Have a Great Weekend Everyone!

Seriously, I'm really up this time!

I'm up...right?

Ok, so this is it, this is what I look like on Saturday mornings during the volleyball season, hockey season, soccer season, football season...ok the every morning season. 



Where as I am certainly not a morning person, I wouldn't call myself a night owl either; but I have been known to stay up late watching some sappy movie that I just couldn't turn off, searching the internet for any tid-bits on taking pictures, messing around with photoshop, or reading anyones blog that I can find.  Most of that though is because I am one that struggles with sleeping because I cannot stop replaying the day over and over again.  You see, I am officially my worst critic of how my day went and how I could have done it better, I'm a "why didn't you say this" or "geez why did you say" that or "could you not have shoved all that junk food in your face today" kind of gal.  Oh if we could only do some days over! 


When I was a kid, I remember getting up early to watch Saturday morning cartoons despite my sleeping misfortunes.  I still love watching Road Runner, Tom and Jerry, and who can forget Yosemite Sam!  Oh the good ol' days!

"You're despicable" - Daffy Duck

What I remember most about Saturdays as a kid is being at grandma's house, smelling fresh bread being toasted, Golden grams being poured and getting to eat in the living room with a towel underneath me so I wouldn't make a mess while watching the "toons".  Ha-ha, toons sure doesn't mean what it used to!

Now days Saturday mornings are not so much for sleeping in, drinking coffee at the table while reading the paper, clicking on the television to catch the latest cartoons or news for that matter, or for  just taking things down a notch and enjoying the day.  They are now for cramming in all the fun stuff you enjoy doing into those few open hours, slowing down would mean missing out on a game, not getting to that sale at the mall or a garage sale early enough to get the good deals, having time for that motorcyle ride or getting in all your weekly runnings in so you DO have time to sit by the fire and have that little beverage.

So while I am pulling the cobwebs off my eye's, tyring to brush out those snarls that have taken over my hair through-out the night, and desperately trying to find matching socks, I am also thinking of all the things on my "to-do" list for this Saturday - and trust me...it's not all fun and games today!

Maybe next weekend I'll get up early and catch the latest Elmer Fudd adventures before hitting the pavement. They do still play Looney Tunes on some station...right?

Don't forget Mom this weekend!

Breaking news here!  All moms, with kids of all ages, want to receive a gift on Mother’s day.  Ignore their sweet smiles and echoes’ of “oh you don’t need to get me anything” because secretly they are want to be doted on, appreciated and given that high five for being all that they could be.

Now as for the gift, these can range in great deal, and to be honest, she has something in mind but don’t expect to be able to figure this out guessing.  If you want to get her something you know she wants and you have been given no hings, just ask, but if she is one that loves to pretend that there really isn’t anything don’t panic - - you still have at least 24 hours left to figure it.  We all know how busy things can be; we all know that even if it is last minute it doesn’t mean that you didn’t have your whole heart in it.

Here's a few ideas just to name a few.

Give her some Quiet Time, find her a nice bottle of bubbly for the bathtub, and give her the time to spend alone, with soft music and serenity. If there are little ones in the house, make sure that this bubble bath is kid free!

If your crafty, how about looking up some DIY websites and finding a quick project, moms will love that you took the time to make something just for her!  These pretty vases come from a DIY website, you can get there by clicking here Pretty vases, you can create this is in a matter of minutes and then fill it up with her favorite flowers.

This little novel turned out to be one of the top sellers for 2011 and is continuing into 2012.  If mom is a reader this might be one that you can find at any local stores that sell books.  If she isn't into this kind of book, your in luck...there are a million to choose from.  Maybe even a journal would be a great idea for her to have to write her memoirs!

If she's more of a techy person, why not consider a Kindle fire, with this little gadget she can down load her favorite books and read them when ever it is convenient, it even has a light to read in bed.  You can download apps of all sorts, check email and play music all at a reasonable price.

Cook her something, better yet bring her breakfast in bed!  If your not much for cooking here is a website that has some great ideas and some don't even require any cooking skills! 
Cooking ideas

If none of these work, scan the Internet for more ideas but what ever you decide, make sure Sunday is made into a "Mom's" day. Treat her like she is royalty even if it is just for this one day.

Happy Mother's day to all the great ones!

Learn how to drive you idiot!

Have you ever noticed that when your driv'in, anyone going slower than you is an idiot?  And anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
 
 And here's one of those things you have to do every time you drive, especially if you're in a hurry.
It happens at you approach a red light, and you find several lanes of cars ahead of you. As you roll up to the pack, you have to decide which lane to get into. You have to guess which looks like a good bet to take off quickly, so you can move out fast when the light turns green. With half a block to go you have to decide who's the really fast asshole in this group up ahead.
Forget the Volvo, she's listening to public radio, and drives the way she lives - with fear and caution. You'll want to avoid that Toyota with the fish symbol; Christians drive as though Jesus himself was a traffic cop. And, by all means, ignore the Lexus with the heavily made-up, bejeweled pig woman. She has the reflexes of an aging panda.

Ahhhhh! Here's the correct machine to get behind: a Camaro with four different shades of primer paint and a bumper sticker that says "I date my sister." This guy's a real risk-taker; full of crank, and on his way to an AC/DC concert. You'll be home before you know it.     ~ George Carlin ~

Heart thumping, fingers flying, arms flayling, curse words spewing, cars revving, horns blaring.  Sound familiar?  Would you consider yourself to be one that experiences road rage or would others say you are the one that more than likely causes it for others?

I'm quite certain we have all felt road rage at one time or another, some with more rage than others and for different reasons. 

Generally I don't get road rage but I have been known to "give the bird" to people without giving it much thought. Really...I do - surprise!  The one time that still sticks in my mind that quite frankly made me look more like an idiot than anything was when I was younger and still living in Grand Forks.  I was working at an office down town and I had parked on a side street this day.

It was winter time, I managed to get into my car to start it and then exit quickly to brush snow off the windows.  During the time I was brushing snow I was not thinking much about the traffic going by and it getting thicker by the minute. My mind was on the snow and how it was pretty, it wasn't too cold and I was in no hurry at all. (Correct, no kids yet)  I got back into my car, adjusted the radio all the while watching out the mirror for a break in traffic to pull out.

Where I was parked was close to the river, so there was really no where to go other than to the end of the road and make either a right or a left turn and of course it was a 3 way stop.  Not the best choice of parking but it was close to the office door so I thought I was getting rock star parking that morning.  I quickly learned others were smarter than me.

I waited for a period of time to which I thought was long enough, all the time my blinker signalling that I would like to not spend the night here in this parking spot so please be kind and let me out, but apparently this was misleading to the drivers going by; they must have assumed I was guiding them with flashers to the end of the road.  I slowly turned the front end of my car out further into the traffic hoping this would shed a little light on the subject, yep...nothing.  Then traffic seem to slow, so I pulled out a little more. still no give.  At this point at least an hour went by, OK not really but my patients were wearing thin.  I decided to go for it, and the lady coming up the road didn't think this was in her best interest and proceeded to blare her horn at me. 

I then of course did my famous "bird flip" at her and pulled out anyway.  Only to discover that I hadn't taken my mittens off, so of course it now looked like I was giving a friendly wave to her, which explains her bird flipping back at me and the verbal curses being mouthed that I was supposed to understand.  Clearly I did and clearly my red face was not from the snow.

Road rage can be caused by numerous thing. According to the 2012 statistics, traffic congestion is one of the most frequently mentioned contributing factors to aggressive driving, and aggressive driving is one of the most common causes of road rage. Aggressive drivers are more likely to become upset/angry while driving.

So with our little amount of traffic congestion here in Fargo, what would be the likely cause for us to get road rage?  Statistically we rate at a very low amount of "reported" road rage but I myself have seen people getting cut off, blocked from passing, fingers in the air, verbal profanity being mouthed behind the glass and rearing up behind cars on the interstate because they want to go faster than the car in front of them is doing, and that is just from driving with Blaine!

Whats your your road rage today? 

None:  I have not seen one monkey driving today.
Low:  I made it work, and only one person cut me off!
Average:  I got cut off, tailgated, blocked, the usual.
High:  I might have used my horn once, cursed, basically got angry once or more.  Saw a                  
monkey picking his note.
Extreme Danger:  Full mood drag racing, using your finger, people hanging their heads out the
window to curse.  ROAD RAGE!

Share what you have experienced, or what causes your road rage, I'd love to hear your stories!

It's never easy

Last weekend started out to be a great weekend, we were up in Little Falls, MN for Justin's Regional hockey tournament.  The team started out a little shaky losing their first game Friday night but came back on Saturday winning the next two.  This put the boys in great spirits and a good spot, they would be be playing on Sunday morning at 9:00am for a chance to play Sunday afternoon for second place. 

We all woke up on Sunday morning with high hopes. Blaine dropped Justin off at the rink, came back to pick us up and to extended our check-out time at the motel in hopes that they would have a win thus giving us a place to be for a few hours since the second game was not to be played until later in the afternoon. 

My phone rang and I saw it was my dad, I naturally assumed to hear his voice on the other end extending a good luck message to Justin, instead I hear his voice crack and my mom in the background...I thought she was coughing but quickly realized something was not right with either of them.  I then hear the news....grandma passed away this morning.

After much deliberation, anger and tears it was decided that the game must go on, Justin would not hear this news until after all games had been played, fortunately, I would not see him before his first game as I am not very good at hiding my emotions.

The game began and they gave it their all but they were defeated, thus also ending their season; they came out with their heads hung low but we reminded them what a great year they had and to make it to Regions was a great accomplishment.  Justin asked if we couild stay to watch the rest of the games that day...it was then I had to whisper in his ear of what I had been trying to hold in until we had some privacy.  His eyes dimmed and his face became expressionless, he quickly told his friends he had to go with no explanation and to the truck we all went.

On that long ride home and then to Grand Forks I did a lot of soul searching and wondering where the time went and how it came to be that I had lost two very special people in my life; and from out of no where comfort settled in and my thoughts turned from hurt to calmness as a vision of the two most in love people I have ever met being together once again.

(This is the sunset I saw on my ride home from Grand Forks)

There life was truly a love story.  They met at a dance (each with separate dates I must add), danced while my mom was growing up, belonged to a square dance group and they danced together until they couldn't dance anymore. They had the kind of love where they were always together, they held hands, and enjoyed each others company...always.  Even after grandpa passed grandma still saw him and spoke of and to him quite often; she even wore his wedding ring on a chain around her neck.

 

I made a video of grandma for her funeral and my sister found the most perfect song to accompany it; it's called Dancing in Heaven, written and sung by Jimmy Scott.  It's on YouTube if you want to hear it.  Here are how the lyrics go:

Dancing in Heaven 

My Mother and Father loved to dance

Music was in their soul
It kept them young though the years rolled on
Their song never grew old

I felt the world fall silent

When I heard they’d passed away

But then from out of nowhere
A song began to play….

Chorus:

Are you dancing in heaven tonight?

Holding each other so tight
Just like you did all those magic nights before
Moving to the rhythm of love

And though I’m gonna miss you so much

I know you’ll be alright
Cause your dancing in heaven tonight

Now there’s a place inside my heart

Where the music never ends
And anytime the teardrops start
I go back there again

I see you dance together

The way it used to be
And then I know that loves a song
That lasts through all eternity

Chorus:

~ Jimmy Scott ~

Here's to great memories and an even greater love story.

Until we meet again...rest in peace.