It's all about changes

The past few weeks have seem filled with so much emotion that most days my head was spinning and I didn’t know if I should laugh, cry, yell or retreat;  most days I think I did them all.

It all started with 6^th grade orientation, the realization of how quickly we have gone from kindergarten roundup to middle school made me realize that my little boy is not so little anymore.  He has changed so much over this past summer that there are times that I catch a glimpse of him and hardly recognize the mature young man in front of me.  I have found that he is there to help even when he isn’t asked, his muscles are becoming stronger, and his endurance for activities has become longer.  I am so proud of the young man he is becoming! 

This same morning of orientation we also received a call that Michele was losing her battle with cancer.  We drove to her home not knowing exactly what we were to encounter once we got there and we also did not know the battles that were in front of to get doctors to sign off to hospice for us.  After 3 days of struggling with doctors, home health and her caregivers, Blaine finally ended up calling an ambulance and getting her to the hospital where new doctors assisted in this sign off and working with us to get her medevac’d to Moorhead. It was at Eventide that we spent most of our days and evenings for the next 7 days where we could assure her comfort in her final days and hours and where we were both present when she was called for her final journey.  There have been many emotions surrounding her death; of course sadness, but also a relief that this door has closed…no more pain for her, no more surgeries and no more un-sureness of tomorrow; then came anger for reasons that serve no purpose in being repeated and now the challenge that lies ahead of us in forgiveness... and we will forgive; maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but forgiveness is in our future.

 I pray that she find peace in her new home, she finds forgiveness and that grace surrounds her.

 The night before Michele passed was Makayla’s 5^th grade back to school night, I was torn between attending this with her or staying back with Blaine knowing that he might be left alone during Michele’s passing.  It was decided to call on some help, again.  Missy was gracious enough to take her to school and to assist with the introductions.  This was a hard decision knowing that this is her last year in elementary school but Makayla took the news as I expected, with poise and maturity, I learned here that she understood the internal battles that I was having.  She was happy to report back that she has many friends in her class again this year so all was well. 

Another first for us this year is the kids taking different buses to school.  Justin’s classes start very early in the morning so he is now leaving for his bus to middle school by 7am, Makayla’s bus picks her up after 7:30 taking her to her school...the kids have always been together in daycare and school so this is a first for us having them separated for a full day.

  

Makayla has been very busy this past week, she participated in the fall parade passing out candy and flyers for girls hockey and then participated in a kid run for the 9/11 tenth year anniversary.  The kid run turned out to be just a one mile run but she turned out to be the only kid who actually finished the mile and she finished it in just over 7min, not her best time but for a hot day running I think she performed very well. Fall soccer has also started, she is happy to have her old coach and team with her and the outlook of another fun and successful season is upon them.

 We are now nearing the end of the 2^nd week of school and so far all seems to be getting back into a routine.  Routine…seems so mundane but routine is exactly what I needed to get back to some sort of normality.  Who says normal is boring…I find it very serene.